Jokes - Jokes

BARBIE
- Submitted by Karo
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Ralph was driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that it's
his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present.

He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store and says to the shop
assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?"

In a condescending manner, she says "Which Barbie?" She continues,
"We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for
$19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for
$19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for
$265.00".

Ralph asks, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others
are only $19.95?"

"That's obvious" the sales lady says. "Divorced Barbie comes with
Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture.

Ken's Doing Better Now . . . . Dropped The Bitch And Made The Switch

It's Now Bobbie & Ken

DINNER
- Submitted by K.P.
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A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waiter, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned. The waiter watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared. After the waiter finished taking the order, he came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly looked up at him and replied firmly, "No he didn't.
He just walked in the door."

And They Wonder Why We Turn Gay.

MARTIAN LOVE
- Submitted by B.C. rom DC
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The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen bring up the subject of sex.

"Just how do you guys do it?" asks Maureen. "Pretty much the way you do," responds the Martian.

Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny, weenie member - about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick.

"I don't think this is going to work," says Maureen.

"Why?" he asks, "What's the matter?"

"Well," she replies, "It's just not long enough to reach me!"

"No problem," he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's quite impressively long.

"Well," she says, "That's quite impressive, but it's still pretty narrow...." "No problem," he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.

"Wow!" she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love.

The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go their separate ways.

As they walk along, Mike asks "Well, was it any good?"

"I hate to say it," says Maureen, "but it was pretty wonderful.
How about you?"

"It was horrible," he replies, All I got was a headache.
All she kept doing the whole time was slapping my forehead and pulling my ears."